scary with a dash of excitement

only 4 days remain before we officially release our debut album. until now we've leaked a few copies here and there to friends, and though i'm always nervous about how people will react to our work, this week seems to hold something greater.
i sat down with shawn the other day and we talked about how the critics would react to the album. i've developed a mentality that i hope will protect myself from any sort of emotional injury, though i know that i'll read every little bit and analyze until i'm blue in the face. the way i look at it, the worst thing to happen would be if they give it a passing grade like a 3 out of 5. Of course we're going to be happy with a 5 out of 5 and a 4 out of 5 isn't a 5 out of 5 but at least it ain't a 3. (now that i've said this i will knock on wood and wait patiently for the 3)

why do i hate the number 3? it's not the number, and it isn't mediocrity even. the way i look at it, if they hate it and give it a 1 or a 2 at least the album evoked a response. 3 or a just passing grade seems too indifferent to me. it's like when you hear someone complaining about how much they hate something. chances are you'll hear them talk about it a few times over and after a while you'll start to wonder if the person is in denial and actually liked it... a lot.

i may have just listened too well when my sister explained to me a long time ago that the true opposite of love wasn't hate but indifference. hate and love seem to be sitting right next to one another in the spectrum of emotions. with the right nudge you can quickly turn one into the other. furthermore, if somebody hates it there has got to be somebody out there who loves it. it's science.

besides they're reaction to the music, even if it does receive a positive response will we be able to pull it off live? with integrity? and will people come? these my friends are the doubts of a rookie recording artist days before his first official release.

at the same time, things have never been better. we're on a great bill this thursday and it seems like people are excited to come. we're heading home to Salmon Arm for the Roots and Blues festival which should be a great time, not only playing at a great festival but seeing a lot of old faces. i remember when i got back from Germany i bought tickets mainly to walk the fair grounds and see what old friends i could run into. it's a small town like that. we'll be rushed this time with shows every day in neighboring towns so it'll be brief but we'll make it good.

so yeah, things are a little bit scary right now, with a strong dash of excitement, but i guess those things are supposed to go hand in hand.

dom